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Managing
"big personalities" (aka difficult
people) can be a Team Leader's biggest
headache. It's inevitable... we need to
populate our teams with the best technical
experts. But when the "whole person" shows
up for the job, we might find that
"interpersonal team skills" are not
their strong suit. What
happens next?
They
might take the Pop-eye approach and just say "I
am what I am", and everyone else just has to
deal with it. That doesn't work for
long... and whether
they're dominating discussions, disrupting the
flow of ideas, or just being disrespectful,
these "big personalities" can create enough
turmoil to derail even the best of
teams.
Here's the
Catch-22: When
difficult people seem determined to pursue their
own agendas regardless of how it affects the
team - we have to understand that to them,
we are the difficult ones, because we're
being critical to them and/or thwarting
their goals. We're upset and they're
upset. Everyone's best thinking is
high-jacked, and we all shift into defense
mode.
So,
what can you do? Well, the most
expensive course is to do nothing.
The situation won't get better - left
unaddressed, it usually gets worse.
Instead, try these
strategies:
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Confront
unacceptable behavior as soon as it
happens. Instead of allowing
resentment to build up against one person, speak
with the individual immediately.
Make sure to focus your discussion on the
specific behavior that should be changed - this
isn't the time to debate who's right or
wrong. Focus your comments on
"how" the person communicates with others, and
the negative impact it's having for the rest of
the team.
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Ask the reasons for the
behavior. Perhaps
the difficult member feels slighted in some way,
or does not feel the team understands his or her
point. The key here is to listen for
understanding - and be clear that
understanding his or her point of view isn't the
same as agreeing. Most people don't make a
distinction between the two. When you truly
listen for understanding you don't
have the need to prove the other person
wrong.
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Set
clear team ground rules. As a team, decide what
type of behavior will be acceptable, what won't,
and agree to hold each other accountable to the
established norms. Do this sooner than
later.
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Explore
your team's work styles. When it seems like
everyone on the team could use better
communication skills, it's helpful to explore
work styles. A number or tools are available
(see the sidebar) to help teams characterize
their perferred conflict, leadership,
communication or other work styles.
Activities like this help clear the air, and
give everyone a new way of understanding each
other's intentions and
motivations. They begin to
appreciate the strength of diversity of
styles... understand how overuse of one
style or another becomes a weakness... and
ultimately improve how they operate
together.
Need help
reining in some "big personalities" on your
team? Contact me
today!
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